Juliann

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Information

  • Years:
  • I am 51
  • Sexual preference:
  • Man
  • Hair color:
  • I have silky white hair
  • My figure features:
  • My figure type is quite chubby
  • I like piercing:
  • I don't have piercings

About

A nudge from the nose of a free-roaming zebra or towering, 2,pound Clydesdale draft horse might send others running.

Description

Every day, my social media feeds are littered with memes from friends going on unsuccessful date after date after date, unable to find someone suitable.

I pride myself on being an excellent wingman to my friends, but I moved to Cleveland already in an established relationship. So when asked to head out for a night on the town to scope it out, I jumped at the opportunity to observe and learn. In below 30 degree weather, the social ts lining the congested streets of Gordon Square are bustling alongside neon-lit storefronts. Two young bachelors, presumably straight, are about five steps in front of me.

Body language

A gaggle of giggling women shuffle past them on the sidewalk, one too busy scrolling Instagram to realize she is about to walk headfirst into the shoulder of the bachelor sporting a well-worn Wahoo cap backward. He leans out of the way, and she repays him with a smile and a subtle lift of her eyebrow.

Her smile turns into a giggle, and she runs past to catch up with her friends, all of whom are currently hooting and hollering at her to hurry.

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Why did I ever leave this city? Weird flex, but OK. The men reach their destination at the bar across the street, practically oozing machismo after the flirtatious run-in, while the women wait at a crosswalk. I change direction, walk up to Instagram Girl, totally own up to being an eavesdropping a-hole, and ask her point-blank how she felt about Wahoo cap man.

Scouting the cleveland dating scene

Her friend agrees. Sure, WalletHub ranked Cleveland as having the fifth-highest percentage of singles in the country, but Cleveland barely cracks the top 50 in major metropolitan American populations.

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Not great. Good luck. My girlfriend and I have never dated any of the same people, a fact that legitimately shocks any of our other LGBTQ friends and must be a miraculous act of the gay gods. I spent the rest of my night eavesdropping on couples in various Gordon Square locations.

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While I half-feel a sense of unsavory morality openly admitting to listening in on the conversations of strangers, I also recognize that I personally cannot enjoy a meal or a drink with my girlfriend in public without people staring or making crude remarks about us within earshot. A group of police officers at Local West even once assumed my girlfriend was a sex worker because she is transgender and I, another woman, was paying for her meal. Cleveland was responsible for at least six murders of transgender women in recent years. I found a couple having their first date at Superelectric Pinball Parlor.

The woman, somewhere in her mids, could best be described as a J. Penney sale rack granted sentience.

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Talking politics on a first date was a bold move already, but that hardly compared to committing the cardinal dating sin. In the 20 minutes I was in their presence, Penney mentioned no less than seven times that she was going through a divorce. The man who asked her on the date desperately tried to get her to talk about anything else while deadlocked on whatever machine he was playing, a death march to run out the invisible clock on this date.

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As I was leaving, I noticed a gal pacing outside the Capitol Theatre. She was yelling into her phone, her warm breath overwhelming her face with fog as if she were a fire-breathing dragon. There were a lot of expletives and personal insults about his virility and sexual abilities. I think you get the point.

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She had been stood up, and she was mad. The rest of the night was uneventful.

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Lots of boring dates filled with forced small talk and men clumsily trying to buy alcohol for any woman who chanced eye contact. I counted eight people scrolling through some form of Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Her or OkCupid during my night on the town.

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As the night wound down, I was prepared to come home to jot down a bitter thinkpiece about how love is dead and dating in Cleveland is a trashy trash fire in a trash can of trash. But then I caught a whiff of hope. A couple on a date at Blue Habanero were hitting it off swimmingly.

Coy body language combined with big laughter, eye contact broken only by blushing cheeks, a sense of disbelief that a date was actually going well and a progressively more polite battle over who was going to pay the bill they split it.

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One writer is on a mission to put her grandmother's favorite saucepan to use. Still, many local venues say it'll take five years or more to recover from the affects of the pandemic shutdown. Cleveland Magazine ClevelandMag.

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Spice up your Sunday morning with these breakfast tacos at Southside Diner. Today is National Bowling Day. Things To Do. In the CLE. At Home. Best Of. She did it.

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She made her first date about the dreaded ex. I really hope those two make it. Share this story:. Related Articles.